Tribalism Part V: Liberals vs. Conservatives

        I was born in beautiful suburbia to a conservative family.  I had a safe and happy childhood.  I love my conservative upbringing.  I was part of the tribe, mostly because I was young and didn’t understand politics.  I just went with the flow, drawing mustaches on Bill Clinton’s face every chance I got.  He and the other democrats were the enemy of course, and I had to do my part, right? 

        But then I grew up and found a different worldview.  I received a liberal education in college and experienced my first election between Bush and Kerry.  As much as I loved my conservative upbringing, and as safe as it had felt, I knew that something deep down in my core made me liberal.  I accepted the democrats’ message, while trying to gag down the republican one.  Of course I wanted the republicans to be right, but I wasn’t excited about their message.  I was excited about liberal ideals, and when that excitement came out of me, the bullying began.

        I was told that I was on a dangerous path.  I was called delusional, I was told that I couldn’t think for myself and that my husband had brainwashed me.  When I was pregnant with my first baby and debating the need for Plan B Contraceptives to be over-the-counter I was told that I was a baby killer.  I lost friends…a lot of friends.  I learned to be a closet democrat and keep my mouth shut.  Whenever it did come out that I was a democrat, the bullying would continue.  Only now, ten years later, am I confident enough to wear my liberalism and live outside the closet. 

        Leaving the tribe was hard, but living in one tribe when I once belonged to its enemy can be even harder.  Especially since most of my friends and family belong to that tribe.  I find value in conservatism and liberalism, and I feel that they could complement each other, but for the warfare.  Liberals call themselves progressives, but conservatives often call them radicals, godless, secular, unpatriotic.  Conservatives call themselves patriotic, defenders of America, good citizens, but liberals call them backward, gun-toting bigots.  This language doesn’t help. 

        Neither do the straw man arguments that are created in order to keep people riled up against the other side, thus preserving the solidarity of the tribe.  Straw man arguments are misrepresentations of an opponent’s argument.  For instance, I think most of us can agree that abortion is not something we want to be part of our society.  We just have different ways of wanting to solve the problem.  But if someone says they are pro-choice, a straw-man argument will misconstrue that to say “You don’t care about innocent babies and the sanctity of life.”  On the other side, pro-life can be misconstrued as not caring about the life, emotional strain, and choice of the mother.  This problem is aggravated by the people on the fringes who say ignorant things like a woman can’t get pregnant if it is a legitimate rape.

        I hear enough straw man arguments to think that what we have is two different sides building their own scarecrows.  These fake enemies are created in order to ensure fear of the other side.  A tribe needs an enemy in order to safeguard its survival.  An outside enemy creates nationalism and unity, and keeps people from looking at problems from within the tribe.   I am bothered by these fake enemies, because they obfuscate the truth and make it harder for liberals and conservatives to work together and understand each other. 

        Having jumped from one tribe to another, I quickly went from seeing Bill Clinton as the enemy to seeing George Bush as the enemy.  Now I try to search for the straw within the enemy.  That’s why it is hard to hear about President Obama, the cause of all our woes.  If the economy is bad, it is the result of this one man.  Twinkies go under because of the nature of capitalism, it’s Obama’s fault for killing capitalism.  Muslims are our enemy, well Obama must be a Muslim.  Obama can’t possibly have been born in the United States, because making him “other” than us makes him scary.  The problem is that President Obama is not the enemy.  Liberals, secularists, atheists, they’re not the enemy, and they are not going to cause the downfall of America.  The constitution is not hanging by a thread.  These are all fake enemies created to keep the tribe strong, and the fear of them keeps us from true communication and compromise.  That is the real enemy, the lack of communication and understanding that is keeping us from moving forward and reaching our potential as a nation.     

        I grew up thinking democrats were evil, but when I discovered liberalism, it was not the scary thing that I expected it to be.  The thing I love about having grown up conservative is that I enjoy the best of both worlds.  Conservative and liberal coexist peacefully inside me.  I have the progressive liberal side of me that looks forward and envisions greater things.  I also have the conservative side that keeps me grounded and helps me to look backward to evaluate the course and make sure that I am on safe ground.  How would things be different in politics if we could use our individual strengths to move forward together?  Tear down the straw men, cut out the tribal language, and look to each other’s strengths.  Let’s jump in a boat together.  Liberals can continue looking forward and conservatives can keep looking backward.  As we trust the vantage point of each other, working through our differences, we will have the best of both worlds.  We will know where we are going as well as where we have come from.