I was born in beautiful suburbia to a conservative
family. I had a safe and happy
childhood. I love my conservative
upbringing. I was part of the tribe,
mostly because I was young and didn’t understand politics. I just went with the flow, drawing mustaches
on Bill Clinton’s face every chance I got.
He and the other democrats were the enemy of course, and I had to do my
part, right?
But then I grew up and found a different
worldview. I received a liberal
education in college and experienced my first election between Bush and
Kerry. As much as I loved my conservative
upbringing, and as safe as it had felt, I knew that something deep down in my
core made me liberal. I accepted the
democrats’ message, while trying to gag down the republican one. Of course I wanted the republicans to be
right, but I wasn’t excited about their message. I was excited about liberal ideals, and when
that excitement came out of me, the bullying began.
I was told that I was on a dangerous path. I was called delusional, I was told that I
couldn’t think for myself and that my husband had brainwashed me. When I was pregnant with my first baby and
debating the need for Plan B Contraceptives to be over-the-counter I was told
that I was a baby killer. I lost
friends…a lot of friends. I learned to
be a closet democrat and keep my mouth shut.
Whenever it did come out that I was a democrat, the bullying would continue. Only now, ten years later, am I confident
enough to wear my liberalism and live outside the closet.
Leaving the tribe was hard, but living in one tribe
when I once belonged to its enemy can be even harder. Especially since most of my friends and
family belong to that tribe. I find
value in conservatism and liberalism, and I feel that they could complement
each other, but for the warfare. Liberals
call themselves progressives, but conservatives often call them radicals,
godless, secular, unpatriotic.
Conservatives call themselves patriotic, defenders of America, good
citizens, but liberals call them backward, gun-toting bigots. This language doesn’t help.
Neither do the straw man arguments that are created
in order to keep people riled up against the other side, thus preserving the
solidarity of the tribe. Straw man
arguments are misrepresentations of an opponent’s argument. For instance, I think most of us can agree
that abortion is not something we want to be part of our society. We just have different ways of wanting to
solve the problem. But if someone says
they are pro-choice, a straw-man argument will misconstrue that to say “You
don’t care about innocent babies and the sanctity of life.” On the other side, pro-life can be misconstrued
as not caring about the life, emotional strain, and choice of the mother. This problem is aggravated by the people on
the fringes who say ignorant things like a woman can’t get pregnant if it is a
legitimate rape.
I hear enough straw man arguments to think that what
we have is two different sides building their own scarecrows. These fake enemies are created in order to
ensure fear of the other side. A tribe
needs an enemy in order to safeguard its survival. An outside enemy creates nationalism and
unity, and keeps people from looking at problems from within the tribe. I am bothered by these fake enemies, because
they obfuscate the truth and make it harder for liberals and conservatives to
work together and understand each other.
Having jumped from one tribe to another, I quickly
went from seeing Bill Clinton as the enemy to seeing George Bush as the
enemy. Now I try to search for the straw
within the enemy. That’s why it is hard
to hear about President Obama, the cause of all our woes. If the economy is bad, it is the result of
this one man. Twinkies go under because
of the nature of capitalism, it’s Obama’s fault for killing capitalism. Muslims are our enemy, well Obama must be a
Muslim. Obama can’t possibly have been
born in the United States, because making him “other” than us makes him scary. The problem is that President Obama is not
the enemy. Liberals, secularists,
atheists, they’re not the enemy, and they are not going to cause the downfall
of America. The constitution is not
hanging by a thread. These are all fake
enemies created to keep the tribe strong, and the fear of them keeps us from
true communication and compromise. That
is the real enemy, the lack of communication and understanding that is keeping
us from moving forward and reaching our potential as a nation.
I grew up thinking democrats were evil, but when I
discovered liberalism, it was not the scary thing that I expected it to
be. The thing I love about having grown
up conservative is that I enjoy the best of both worlds. Conservative and liberal coexist peacefully
inside me. I have the progressive
liberal side of me that looks forward and envisions greater things. I also have the conservative side that keeps
me grounded and helps me to look backward to evaluate the course and make sure
that I am on safe ground. How would
things be different in politics if we could use our individual strengths to
move forward together? Tear down the
straw men, cut out the tribal language, and look to each other’s strengths. Let’s jump in a boat together. Liberals can continue looking forward and conservatives
can keep looking backward. As we trust
the vantage point of each other, working through our differences, we will have
the best of both worlds. We will know where
we are going as well as where we have come from.
